Dena Kronfield

Part of growing up is becoming your own person.  As we get older and more independent, sometimes we do things we think our mothers don’t need to know, and might even be better off not knowing.  We asked several of readers, “What is the one thing you can’t tell your mother?”  Here’s what you responded!

“I was in a threesome.”

–Age 20, Pennsylvania

“If there were really one thing I couldn’t tell my mother, it would be how badly my first boyfriend treated me and what I went through while we were dating. If there was ever the possibility that I might tell her what happened it is long past. At the time, I didn’t trust her, and she didn’t respect me. Now, I have come to terms with everything that happened, and I have moved on with my life. Telling her would reopen old wounds and bring up questions that I don’t want to deal with. I love my mom very much, but her judgmental nature makes it hard to be open and honest with her. She’s not understanding to new or different views, and frank conversations with her have always caused more pain than they’ve relieved.”

–Age 21, Missouri

“I’m not a virgin.”

–Age 22, New York

“I’ve never been able to talk to my mom about any issues I might be having with a friend or significant other, because that’s her cue to take it personally and totally write that person off, ban them from her house, etc. It’s frustrating that she can’t remove herself from the situation long enough to give me impartial advice.”

–Age 23, Indiana

“I have a date with a girl today.  Also, even though my dad doesn’t think same-sex marriage should be legalized, he thinks talking about girls with me is cool. My mom’s still a little uncomfortable with it.”

–Age 21, New York

“The one thing I can’t tell my mother is that I go to church on Sundays.”

–Age 18, New York

“I can’t tell her when I’m angry at her, or when I think she’s wrong about anything. She cannot hear anything bad about herself or she flies into a rage. It means I end up bottling up a lot of things because we literally would not be able to be in the same room if I expressed myself honestly.”

–Age 23, Illinois

“I am starting to consider getting married to my army boyfriend.”

–Age 20, New York

“I will never tell my mother about all the horribly evil things that have happened to me in my life and how messed up I truly am because of it. I am afraid that if I tell her, our relationship will forever be changed. She will feel guilty that she could not protect me, even though that would have been impossible. I love her too much to let her become yet another victim to such horrors since I wish that on no one.”

–Age 23, New York

“I can’t talk to my mom about guys or having sex or drinking. She doesn’t understand that you can have sex and/or drink safely.”

–Age 21, New York

“I can’t talk to my mom about guys or my sex life (or lack thereof). It’s too uncomfortable, and I almost feel like I’d get judged for my woes on the subject, as she was the type who was never in want of a date or folks to go out with on weekends when she was my age.”

–Age 20, Colorado

“I never told my mom when I was prescribed birth control pills back in high school, because I felt so uncomfortable about the thought of a potential safe-sex talk.  (The previous one my mom gave me was so awkward I could only nod my head and agree with everything she said.)  I didn’t even lie to her and say I was given birth control pills because of irregular periods.  Instead, I filled the prescription myself, picked up the pills every month, and paid for them with my allowance.  She never found out.”

–Age 21, New York

What can’t you tell your mom? (Don’t worry! We won’t tell!)