Jennifer Abidor

Facebook chat can be a beautiful thing. It’s an easy way to communicate with friends, or a low-pressure way to chat up that guy you’ve been crushing on.

But sometimes Facebook chat is abused by stalkers and becomes just another forum for their creepiness. Here’s a tip, guys, if she’s not responding via phone call, text message, email or wall post– she’s not interested. In this modern age it’s nearly impossible to avoid the creeps. Fortunately, there are ways to fend them off. Here are my suggestions for ditching the guys who just can’t take a hint.

1. Block Him Like it’s Hot- For the past couple of years I’ve dealt with five consistent Facebook chat stalkers, including a guy I haven’t seen in 7 years and a guy who knows me solely from a 100 person math class. Ignorance is futile…these dudes are persistent. One day I noticed that you can actually block people from Facebook chat. My mind was blown. Here’s how: Create a friends list (mine is literally titled “creepers”). The list will show on your chat contacts and you can just click a button to appear offline for the whole list. The same goes for every other electronic form of communication. As Nike suggests, just do it! The less aggressive guys will realize that it’s time to move on.

2. Drop some subtle hints- Desperate guys often have a fatal flaw: an innate inability to take “no” for an answer unless you literally beat them over the head. I do not condone violence. I do condone a more proactive approach. Start out slowly by slipping your “boyfriend” into casual conversation. Slip him a copy of the DVD He’s Just Not That Into You, but adjust the title to read SHE (honestly, there needs to be a version for dudes). Pawn him off onto other girls by saying “you and so-and-so would make such a cute couple, don’t you think?” If subtlety doesn’t work, it’s time to step up your game.

3. The Direct Approach- By the 18th time this guy tries to ask you to chill, despite your best attempts to gracefully bow out, it’s clear that you need to set the record straight. If he’s the nice but misguided type, a simple “You seem like a great guy…but I’m really not interested in you that way” will do. If he’s the obnoxious kind, a little taste of his own medicine couldn’t hurt. Be forceful and direct. Leave no wiggle room. These guys live for the wiggle room. Fend him off with some cold, but crucial words. Hopefully he’ll finally move on to another unassuming chick (if you feel bad for her, just send her this article). If he doesn’t, you may just have to resort to beating him over the head. Or, you could try your best to just be flattered. Whatever works.